


Starlight

by rendawnie



Series: Pieces [6]
Category: Big Bang (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Conversations, Hotels, Love Confessions, M/M, Reunions, Romance, Secret Relationship, Travel, idolverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 18:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11423493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rendawnie/pseuds/rendawnie
Summary: Taehyung and Jiyong finally talk about their relationship, far away from home. (Set in the same universe asShimmerandBurn.)Soundtrack: "Starlight", Muse





	Starlight

Taehyung’s sitting in the planetarium of the Tokyo airport, waiting under the stars. He’s waiting for Jiyong, theoretically, but it feels much bigger than that. Everything they’ve done always feels bigger than the sum of their parts, and Taehyung supposes that’s why they’ve been doing it so long without it moving forward, really.

He sighs, checking his phone for the tenth time in the last minute, his feet propped up on top of his suitcase. Still nothing. He doesn’t know when Jiyong’s flight was supposed to land, or where he was coming from. Jiyong had just given him a date, a time, and an airport name, and a text message that ended with _Meet me under the stars._

It could have meant anything, but since it’s not even ten in the morning, Taehyung figures these are the only stars Jiyong could have been talking about.

Jiyong was supposed to be here at eight forty-five. He’s over an hour late, but that’s not unusual for either of them, and Taehyung managed to clear his schedule for the entire weekend, so, he waits.

He likes Tokyo. He likes the food and the language and the people and the architecture.

He wonders if he’ll like it more or less after he’s been in it with Jiyong.

He’s gazing up at Vega, the brightest star in the constellation Lyra (he knows this both because they’re helpfully labelled, and because he’s prone to expanding his knowledge base to include anything and everything he’s even passingly interested in), and Taehyung remembers a story, a myth, in Chinese folklore. A husband and a wife, two stars in the sky, are separated by an entire galaxy, a river called the Milky Way. But one day a year, on the seventh day of the seventh month, a magical bridge is built so they can be together, just for a little while.

It’s nine fifty-nine in the morning, on July 7th, when Jiyong appears.

They haven’t seen each other in over a year, ever since an irresponsible rendezvous in a very public bathroom at an awards show. It’s not that they didn’t want to. It’s just that...life. It’s always just _life._

Actually, Taehyung can’t really see Jiyong now, because he’s got a mask on that covers nearly his entire face and a giant hat pulled down low, and he’s wearing a sweater three sizes too big for him that covers any tattoos and features he could be recognized for. Taehyung didn’t even bother with a mask. Maybe he’s just tired of hiding.

He knows it’s Jiyong, even though his voice is muffled by the mask, because the first thing he says is, “You found the stars.”

Taehyung hums in agreement, turning his eyes back to the blue and silver dome above them. He can feel Jiyong watching him watch the sky. He lets him. Jiyong has always been prone to just gazing at Taehyung. Taehyung likes it. It makes him feel special. Cared for.

He knows Jiyong cares, even if their lives keep getting in the way of them telling each other so.

Finally, Taehyung breaks the silence carefully, keeping the pieces tucked in his palm in case he needs to put it back together.

“So, what are we doing?”

Jiyong pushes his hat up just a bit, enough to rub his tired eyes under the big sunglasses he’s got on. He yawns.

“I haven’t slept in two days. I was too nervous about this. Maybe we could just take a nap.”

Taehyung laughs. “Where?”

Jiyong chuckles. “I rented every room at one of the hotels downtown. Let’s go.”

It used to surprise Taehyung, how easily Jiyong did things like that, how easily he said words like that, words that didn’t make sense to Taehyung before they met. Then it kept happening, these grand gestures Jiyong would make for him because of how infrequently they could spend time together at all, and Taehyung is barely fazed, anymore.

Once, a year after the first time they met and touched and did so many things Taehyung had never done before, Jiyong had the Louvre shut down for an entire afternoon so Taehyung could take his time looking at each and every piece of art in every single room of the museum.

What Jiyong still hasn’t figured out is that he means more to Taehyung than ten Michelangelos, just by being himself. Letting Taehyung in. He knows that goes both ways, that they’ve only let each other scratch the surface, even though their surfaces are deeper than most people’s oceans. Taehyung wonders if this will be the weekend everything changes.

It probably won’t be, but he’s never been able to let go of his foolish optimism.

Since Jiyong rented out the entire hotel, they have their pick of rooms and beds, but they end up in one of the smallest suites, in a tiny bed, curled up as close as they can possibly get, and finally, they sleep.

Taehyung doesn’t sleep very well, period. He hasn’t in years, since he debuted and his life was turned upside down. He prefers to be awake at night, prefers the way the dark can make so many secrets shine. But he drifts off quickly in Jiyong’s arms, and he dreams about staying there forever.

When he wakes up, minutes or hours or days later, Jiyong is sitting at the table across the room, reading the paper, a plate piled high with waffles in front of him, and Taehyung nearly cries, because he remembers this. He remembers the morning after the first night they met. He remembers being covered in glitter and feeling absolutely enamored with Jiyong and life.

He remembers all of what came after that, how Jiyong didn’t call him or say anything to him for months, and then after that, how they’d begun to always find each other, somehow, no matter where they were in the world.

He remembers all that, and he remembers how carefully they’ve avoided talking about anything _real._

Taehyung clears his throat and gets out of bed, shuffling across the suite and plopping down in the chair across from Jiyong. He knows Jiyong is watching him as he shovels waffles into his mouth, because Jiyong is less subtle than he’d like to believe.

Taehyung puts away four waffles before either of them speak, and Taehyung expects it to be him who’ll have to start this conversation, so he’s opening his mouth without really knowing what words will come out, but for once, Jiyong beats him to it.

“I think we should talk about everything,” he says, and Taehyung stops breathing.

He waits.

“Well, maybe not _everything_ ,” Jiyong amends a moment later, but he’s smiling, that sweet smile only Taehyung gets to see, and it makes Taehyung smile too. _Not everything_ is okay. There’s not enough time for _everything._ As long as there’s time for _something._

Taehyung finishes another waffle while Jiyong gathers his thoughts, sipping coffee. He doesn’t eat breakfast, Taehyung knows. He sometimes forgets to take care of himself entirely, except if Taehyung happens to be around to remind him how. Pushing his empty plate away from the edge of the table so Jiyong knows he’s done, knows it’s time, Taehyung waits.

Jiyong is thinking, hands clasped in front of his lips and eyes to the ceiling, and Taehyung marvels at how he’s still breathtaking, even more so when he’s like this, hair a mess and no makeup, sitting at a table in an empty-except-for-them hotel in Tokyo in his boxers with Taehyung.

“I’m sorry, Taehyung,” he says finally. Taehyung nods. He doesn’t have to ask what Jiyong’s sorry for. He knows.

“I’m sorry, too,” he replies, and Jiyong nods this time.

“I don’t want to stop doing this. But, I don’t know if we _can_. _Can_ we?” Jiyong asks, and he looks helpless and lost and Taehyung doesn’t have the answer to his question, but he decides to pretend like he does, because maybe it’s the only thing that’s going to make this work.

Taehyung sits foward. “Of course we can,” he says firmly, even though he doesn’t believe it yet. Jiyong laughs a little behind his fingers, his eyes sparkling with what might be tears. Already.

“How?” he asks, and Taehyung reaches out and untangles his fingers from each other and laces his own through them instead, thinking of the best way to go on. He could pretend like he knows exactly what they’re going to do. Pretend he has a plan. Jiyong would probably see through his bullshit, but he wouldn’t call him out. He’d play along.

Or he could tell the truth.

“I don’t know,” Taehyung admits softly. “I love you, but I don’t know how we can do this.”

He stops then, stops short and sucks in a quiet breath and mutters _fuck,_ because he didn’t want the first time he said those words to be this, to be during what he’s not sure is an argument or not, yet.

Jiyong looks shocked and happy and scared and confused, his mouth hung open in an _oh_ shape, and neither of them say anything for a long time while Taehyung tries to decide if he wants to just straight up run out of the room and out of the hotel and back to the airport, or stay here and face this. Finally.

Jiyong is watching him, and after a while he murmurs, “Don’t leave,” and so Taehyung stays.

It’s several long minutes before Jiyong gathers himself enough to react, to answer, and when he does, he’s laughing again, but this time Taehyung can see it’s in disbelief, not amusement.

“Fuck,” Jiyong says, echoing Taehyung’s small outburst but with a completely different set of emotions behind it. “I guess I never thought either of us would actually ever admit to that.”

Taehyung doesn’t answer.

“Fuck,” Jiyong says again, almost giggling, wide-eyed and amazed. “I honestly don’t even want to have any of the rest of the conversation now. I just want to be with you.”

Jiyong thinks for a while, and Taehyung watches him do it, and then he lifts his eyes up again and smiles and asks, “Can we just do that? Can we find a way?”

 _No,_ Taehyung’s common sense tells him. _There’s no way this can work. It would be career suicide. We would lose everything, not just each other._

He rolls the words around his brain for a while, letting them bounce off each corner and back again.

He’s sacrificed so much for his job, for the things he wants to do with his career. Taehyung knows Jiyong has been doing this longer, has given up even more.

He’s not sure he could live with this being yet another thing either of them has to give up.

Taehyung sits up a little, squeezing Jiyong’s hand. He’s scared now, more scared than he’s ever been, but it’s mixed with so much elation that he hardly knows what to do with himself. The only thing he knows to do is answer.

“Yes,” Taehyung says softly, finally allowing himself to look at Jiyong like he’s always wanted to, Like he’s the whole world. “We can find a way.”


End file.
